(Or Possibly Just Gimmicky Garbage that Would Do Well at a White Elephant Exchange. Time Will Tell.)

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There are some great time saving devices out there. I’ve seen them on infomercials, and coveted them as I wander through Target. But then, there are things I question. These things fall somewhere between genius and “What were they thinking?”. These may become ubiquitous within a generation or succumb to being an embarrassing memory. As of right now it is hard to call. What do you think?

  1. I know straws are bad for the environment. If you love sea turtles, and who doesn’t, straws are not for you. But say you happen to have one around. I suppose plan “B” may be to wash that beloved plastic tube and let it see another day. If you do decide that you must sip that drink through a straw I suppose your penance should be washing that straw with one of these lovely, bristley devices. Are these the wave of the environmental future, or should we just get used to mouthing the side of a cup?

2. This is for the person who is joined at the hip to his or her drill. Say they drill holes with it, put in screws with it, stir paint with it, and if they entered the kitchen, would probably flip things with it (Can you tell I have one of these people around?). Now, you can clean with it. You may as well, the thing is right there with you anyway. This may actually be the incentive that drill toting person in your life needs to scrub the toilet. It’s worth a try anyway. 

3. Because there are not enough robots in your house already, stick one on your window. You know the machines will win in a few years when they all become    linked and sencient. If you only have your phone and your computer death will be slow and painful. You may as well link all your appliances now. Just give in and let them roam your carpets and your windows. This will give you two advantages. First, you will be their overlord now and enjoy a clean house, and second, when they attack, you will have enough of them around to take you out quickly.

4. Cleaning doesn’t just need to include your house. Apparently dogs and cats need their ears cleaned as well. So much so that you may need an entire gallon of cleaner just for that purpose.

5. Not only are Keurig owners too lazy to get out a coffee filter and pour grounds into it. They are also too lazy to clean their machines. Thank goodness someone came up with a pod that will do the trick for you. While you buy your dozens of individual unique flavors of coffee pods every week, just throw these pods in your cart as well. What’s a few more pods in your cart or in the landfill?

6. Who says you can’t clean your microwave with character? I know when I am wiping the exploded gook out of my microwave with disinfectant wipes I am really disappointed that I can’t use a funky little figurine with attitude to help me out. Well, here is my answer. Nuke this angry Mom and the grime just peels right off. There are some sentences you don’t get to use every day.

7. Remember when you were a kid and you had so much fun sliding down the hallway in your socks? And, no, this is not an invitation for you to unload about how slippery floor deprivation affected your life. That is for your therapist. You are an adult now so this is about cleaning. One of the signs of true adulthood is the ability and necessity of cleaning in your life. Since cleaning is such an important component to adulthood, there can’t be any sliding down the hall if cleaning is not involved. Hence, these sock floor dusters have come to our rescue. May the sliding commence.

8. Nothing says, “Being called four-eyes in elementary school had no effect on MY self-esteem,” like buying specially made microfiber spectacle cleaners in every color of the rainbow. Just keep one of these in your pocket. Then you can clean your glasses with the pride of someone who went out and bought these on purpose with the intention of letting everyone know that no smudge is going to get in the way of YOUR vision.

9. If you don’t want one of these, you didn’t watch the informational video closely enough. Go ahead and study that thing again. I’ll wait. Do you see now how the spinning action just makes it a superior mopping product? I mean it extends. It cleans up lots of soda. What more could you ask for. It even models its name after a popular movie franchise about sharks and vortexes.

10.  My daughter has this nervous habit of tearing pieces of paper into small bits. Do you know anyone with that quirk? Do you also really love ladybugs in completely fictitious color schemes? Well do I have the cleaning product for you. Now you can collect those obnoxious paper bits, and display an adorable bug contraption on your desk at the same time. Presenting the desktop ladybug vacuum cleaner!

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